ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Randomize
