I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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