I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize