i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
