Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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