I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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