He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
