I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
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