Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
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