operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
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