My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Randomize