I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
