yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
