I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
