my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
