OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
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She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
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First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Bring me that man meat
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.