my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.