Say something about gay babies.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
25 Children of Helicopter Parents Admit The Most Horrible Thing They Were Put Through
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Proof That Kendall Jenner Is The Queen of Cannes
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.