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Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I showed him my bush... on skype.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
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