Bea Arthur died! :(
Big bird passed.
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong