i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
These tits shall not be calmed
Randomize
