I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Randomize
