"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
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