So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
