She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
