She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
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