Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Randomize