It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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