Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
