Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
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