I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
