my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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