In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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