yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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