I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Randomize
