WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
