i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
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