You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
