party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Randomize
