I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Randomize
