if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
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