Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Randomize