I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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