He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Randomize
