Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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