Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize