oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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