nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
