I cockslap morals
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
how drunk are you?
Several
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Randomize
