oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
i need some magic done to my vagina
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
