ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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