OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
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