batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize