i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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