Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
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