i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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