i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
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