So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
