so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I should be sponsored by Trojan
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I just found a bag of teeth...
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
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