that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
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