I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Randomize
