I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Randomize
