I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
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Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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