If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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