my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Randomize
